The other day I got into a conversation with other women at work about relationships. The topic went into so many directions. There were secrets revealed, tears shed, and at the end we realized that we were all vulnerable to love.
One woman shared that she had been married for 17 years and her husband was loyal to her for only 4 years. That she allowed her spouse to come in and out of her life even when they divorced, hoping he would come back and wanting to be a family for her kids. She finally met another man, falls in love, and recently married him after she allowed herself to be loved. Her kids say they never saw her smile while she was with their father. They see what love now looks like.
It resonates with another woman sitting on the other side of the table. Her parents were married but her mother was verbally and physically abusive to her father so they divorced. Their divorced impacted from the child respective. The point of being divorced but letting the spouse back in, sharing the same bed, and the confusion when rejected. She felt that she wasn’t good enough when she became an adult to be in a relationship! There was something that I had mentioned that when someone is broken that they can’t expect to be married and have their spouse make them whole. She said she had to work on herself because she was broken!
How many of you feel that you are broken? How many have a list of everything specific that you are looking for in a relationship? Does the person have to be equally yoked? Do they have to be a certain age? Have to make a certain amount of money? Will you let others tell you what you should have in a mate or know for yourself?
My feeling is to be organic with it. Meaning don’t go looking because if it’s meant to be it will find you. Be comfortable within your own skin. The pet peeve that I have is women scared to be alone that they accept treatment from a man that doesn’t deserve a queen just to have the initial MRS. in front of their names.
I think what impacted myself is being a daughter of a woman who was a survivor. It helped me to overcome my own insecurities, to set goals for what I want in a relationship, and to let down the ice cold wall that protected my heart so that I can experience love.
My books covers all aspect of relationship and sitting with those women on that day made me look at them on a different level. We were able to share and take those masks off that we put on when we are at work. We were able to share hugs, wipe away tears, and encourage the next woman. We were able to talk!
About Patricia A. Saunders
Award winning author, poet, speaker Patricia A. Saunders was born and raised in Connecticut before relocating to the San Francisco Bay Area nearly 26 years ago. She received her Master’s in Management from the University of Phoenix in 2011. After the passing of her mother who had Alzheimer’s, Patricia decided if she inherited the disease she wanted her words to be her legacy and that all the words that she kept to herself were to be released.
Her work has been featured on a Coast to Coast Book Tour at the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books, Toronto Word On The Street, Sacramento Black Book Fair, Tucson Book Festival, Miami International Festival of Books and AARP Life@50+ Spring Convention. Recently she was chosen among 100 authors from around the United States to participate in the Author’s Pavilion at the 2018 Congressional Black Caucus Convention in Washington, DC.
She is a monthly blogger of her own blog Blessed & Curvy who covers today’s hot topics. Also she is certified speaker with the Professional Woman Network for Women’s Issues & Diversity.
She released her first self published book Through the Fire (March 2012) which covered emotions from situations, circumstances, and life lessons that have influenced her over her lifetime. On a mission to complete a book a year in case she inherits the ugly disease she released her second book Loving Me (2013) and third Let It Rain (2014) which is also self published and covers various topics from love, grief, self image, self esteem, bullying, and discovery of self love.
Her fourth book (2016) This Too Shall Pass was released by AuthorHouse Publishing and readers have given it a five star rating. The book was inspired from three note cards she received after the passing of her mother when she felt like giving up on life, on the brink of losing her home and being unemployed that encouraged her to live for those who loved her.
Her fifth book was released by Book Baby Publishing (2017) There Is Sunshine After The Rain a non-fiction novel that includes poetry is birthed after the tenth anniversary of her Mother’s passing, the reality that with every lesson that she has experienced through life that there is a reason, there are tests that all are faced with, but it’s how you respond.
Saunders chose poetry and nonfiction to let the readers know the thought process behind the poetry, tools to help others who may face the same circumstances, and it builds a relationship further between the author and those reading her words.
Patricia is a Supervisor in Silicon Valley, in her spare time she enjoys to travel, wine tasting, and spending time cooking for friends and family.
Explore Patricia Saunders' Books