I spent over 25 years working at an insurance company working in Information Technology. I worked on a very specialized team. We worked on migrating data from system to system. Healthcare data is complex. It is important to understand all the data points and how they work together. How they interact with one another. Which ones are dependent on the other, and which ones can stand alone? In the early 90’s when I joined the team and was being trained was the first time this concept of connecting the dots was explained to me. I was told that the success of our team hinged on our ability to connect the dots. We had to learn how the data interacted in the old system in order to migrate over to the new system. At first, I didn’t understand the importance of learning how things worked in the old system but in time it became much clearer.
I worked on this team for over twenty years and participated in over 35 data migrations. Never once did I put the pieces together that learning how to connect the dots goes way beyond those data migrations. The concept of connecting the dots applies to each one of us. We’re all made up of a bunch of dots that are uniquely connected to make us who we are. I’m not referring to science and DNA. I’m talking about what’s inside of you, your mind, what makes you who you are. Your values, dreams aspirations? What makes you tick? It’s about learning our dots and figuring out the best way to connect them for you. I emphasize the FOR YOU because each person’s dots are different and even if you did share the exact same dots with the person sitting next to you, how those dots connect would still be very different.
Woman are generally very good at taking care of everyone else but themselves. Oftentimes it isn’t until later in life when we become empty nesters or go through a divorce, or some other major life change that we begin to realize that we have absolutely no idea who we are or what makes us happy. We’ve lived for our husbands, wife’s and children for so long that we lose sigh of who we are, what makes us tick. I’m not pointing any fingers because the only reason I’m sharing this with you is because I’ve been there and I want to help as many women as I possibly can understand why they’re feeling the way they do and help them to understand that there absolutely is a way out BUT that was out is uniquely your way out.
Again, I emphasize it’s uniquely you because there are so many self-help books and courses that you can read. What works for one doesn’t work for all because we all have different dots that connect in a unique way for us.
What are the dots? It’s really about your values. What is important to you. What are your goals and aspirations? Some dots are larger or more important than others. Some dots change over time, some dots may become less important and die off whereas others may grow in importance in your life. Our dots are fluid. As we grow and learn the makeup of our dots change. Therefore, it’s important to understand how your dots connect. If you make a change to one dot, you need to understand what other dots might be impacted to be prepared.
The larger meaning of learning how to connect the dots became clear to me after taking an early retirement in 2017. My house was empty and so was my calendar. I had absolutely no idea who I was anymore. I hadn’t thought about me and my dots for so long I had completely lost track of them. I had no clue what they were or how they connected.
Since realizing this I have been on a mission to find and reconnect all my dots. It is a constant work in progress. Identifying your dots and learning how to connect them closely aligns with holistic wellness concepts. At the core of holistic wellness are the eight dimensions of wellness.
1) Intellectual wellness is when you recognize your unique talents to be creative and seek out ways to use them.
2) Physical wellness is when you recognize what is necessary to keep your body healthy.
3) Spiritual wellness is related to your values. Beliefs that help you find meaning and purpose in your life.
4) Emotional wellness is your ability to cope with life and build satisfying relationships with others.
5) Financial wellness is a feeling of satisfaction about your financial situation.
6) Occupational wellness is a sense of satisfaction with your choice of work.
7) Environmental wellness is related to the surroundings you occupy.
8) Social wellness is a sense of connectedness and belonging.
Once you begin to learn about the dimensions and all of the little things that are inside of each one of them you begin to understand that the key to success or happiness in life is learning your dots, the most important things for you and how they interact, and making decisions about where you want them to be. This is what I refer to as learning to love living your life.
Life coaching is NOT counseling or therapy. Unlike counseling or therapy, which involve looking back and working through one’s past, Life coaching is about looking to the future and navigating through the present to reach the goals one has set.
About the Author
Terri Martinez is a blogger and author who writes under the pen name Terri D. She published her debut novel titled Yesterday’s Lies in 2011. Terri has since released four more novels and had a poem published as part of an anthology of poems about love titled Bubblin’ Brown Sugar. Terri’s most recent release titled, Passport Wife is a memoir.
Although she continues to write, Terri is the Program Coordinator for Life Esteem Inc. In this role she coordinates the curriculum and training materials for the parenting programs offered through Life Esteem.
She’s an active member of the advisory board and was very instrumental in the opening of the Life Esteem Holistic Wellness Center in December 2017.
In June of 2018, Terri started a Non-Profit Organization, A Blessing for You. Her non profit provides assistance to expectant and new mothers in need as well as providing training and connecting them to other community resources. Terri is a trained Chaplain assistant, Certified Recovery Specialist and Certified Life Coach. Terri offers life coaching services in person, via phone or video.
Visit the Connecting the Dots Life Coaching website: