Wednesday, April 6

Beating the Blues Away by Sonu Gohil

Beating the Blues Away by Sonu Gohil

“It’s over” Ronny declared.

“But……” Rita uttered with pain and couldn’t complete the sentence.

Her world was doomed, dreams shattered, doors closed, path darken. It’s not only about Rita but about many of us who have been a victim of fate at least once in our lives and have accepted such a bitter rejection.

There have been times where we are left with no other option except calling it quits. The vision of future gets dimmer and multiple questions starts peeping out from each nook and corner of our mind, heart and life. Many questions remain unanswered and many puzzles unsolved.

We were born with a deep down desire to be liked, loved and cared for. The very sense of belongingness has led us to immeasurable expectations. The mistake we make is that we cease to remember that not all expectations can be satisfied. Oprah Winfrey once rightly said “I have learned that we can’t do everything and get everything at same time”.

In today’s life we see so many things happening around, so many stories being cooked up, incidents taking place, hectic social lives, fragile relationships and a lot more. We hear in the news of murders and suicides so frequently. The adaptability towards things has reached a stage where we accept things and keep on going with them. This adaptability or adjustment shows our weakness not strength. When life withdraws people from their jobs, families or relationships they withdraw themselves from life.

Rejection, betrayal, deception brings its own measure of pain and agony. Now how do we count it all beneficial or better in any sense? No matter how many self-healing books we read, watch comic movies, get more involved in work, do yoga, eat chocolates and apply all kinds of theories to distract our minds but at the end of the day something remains missing, something still pricks. This is where we come round with ourselves. There are two ways to live a life i) accept things as they are and carry on with them, keep on bearing and adjusting. ii) Take responsibility to change it.

Now in this case we try to make ourselves rejection-proof. The fear of rejection is so intense that we protect ourselves by:
(1)  Vowing never to let anybody get close enough to hurt us again. Sounds good in theory but by closing others out we close ourselves in. and let our relationships suffer. We kill something inside us which is a suicide in its own way.

(2) By saying “I am tough” we put on our best game face. Who needs other people anyway? In result, no body meets our needs. We overlook so much help that are coming our way. We try to do it all ourselves and mess it up.

(3) Pushing others away. When we feel rejected we imagine we are being attacked even when we are not. So we put on our boxing gloves and come swinging. We start seeing people through the glass of doubt. And miss out some of the very important people in our lives.

(4) Try to buy rejection-protection by doing favors for people or by putting up abusive relationships because we think we deserve it and it may be our last chance at love. Give it up! The best way is to ease up a little. Things you have learned from this experience teach you a lot.

* People may change in fraction of second.
* Never lose your self-worth and dignity.
* Never forget - “if it stays it’s yours if it doesn’t, it never was.”
* Don’t fear of losing anything, as in true sense there is nothing to lose.
* Don’t force yourself to fall in love, just because you think it’s your turn.
* Don’t get fooled when someone says you are wise, gives special attention, care, and empty words.

God already loves us unconditionally.  So “let go and let God.” The human standards vary so much that we’ll never make everybody happy however we try. As long as we keep living with a diminished sense of worth we will keep on attracting wrong people. If your opinion comes from any opinion other than god’s you will always be vulnerable. The worst part of it is that we will never discover or be discovered for the unique and wonderful person God made us to be.

“Everything is difficult before it is easy!”  But there are certain things which we can keep in mind to overcome procrastination.

You must:

(1) Take responsibility for your life.
No matter how hard we wish, the tooth fairy isn't going to come while we are sleeping and replace failure with success. Great souls have 'wills', feeble souls have 'wishes'. We need to do something! You owe yourself every possible chance. Remember “If you don’t trust yourself who else will?”

(2) Examine your excuses. An excuse puts the blame on something other than you, which means the solution is beyond your reach. They are like exit signs on the road of progress; they take us off track. It's easier to move from failure to success, than from excuses to success. So examine your excuses and eliminate them. Remember “have one reason to do it rather than other ninety nine reasons of not doing it.”

(3) Focus on the benefits of completing a task. To get you over the hump, focus on what you'll 'get out of it'? When you get it done. Will it bring you gain? Clear the way for something else you'd like to do? Be a milestone in your personal development or the completion of something bigger? Will it help to clear the decks for you emotionally? Admiral William Halsey said, "All problems become smaller if you don't dodge them, but confront them. Touch a thistle timidly and it pricks you, grasp it boldly and its spines crumble."

(4) Ask for help.
There's infinite value in the assistance others can give you when it comes to breaking old habits and beginning new ones. Yes, it means taking a risk because you will be vulnerable in sharing your hopes and fears. But the risk is worth taking. Remember “the biggest risk in life is not to take a risk at all.”

In nutshell ‘blues of life’ are something that is just a state of mind and nothing else. When we are totally under blues still a pink world exists around us. Think about it! What we need to do is let the blues flow out and the pinks make their way in. Conclude from the past experience, learn what you need to and exclude what you not need to take a decision and move on.

Do you know you have treasure within you? God put it there. It's in your unique qualities, plus the fire in your soul. Life may have thrown cold water on that fire but your self-confidence can rekindle it. Note, this treasure within you "is from above". And what the creator owns He protects, He nurtures, and will use to His glory. But He is a wise businessman; when He invests He expects a return!

Conclude from the past experience, learn what you need to and exclude what you not need to take a decision and move on.

About the Author Author: Sonu Gohil.  I am a Lecturer of English and I am interested in creative writing. I am pursuing my PhD in Teaching creative translation. I write articles for my institution and I also write short stories and poems.  Source: - Free Articles

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